short. attention. span (cheesybiccy) wrote in iso_work,
short. attention. span

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vicious circle

i graduated in summer 2003 i got a BSc microbiology and virology 2:2
i broke up with my long term boyfriend and new i couldnt just go jobhunting, i wanted to DO something on my own. so in sept 2003 i went off to do volunteering projects abroad. i returned in april of this year. and after about a month of just getting used to being back, i started to seriously job hunt. 10 interviews and literally several 100's of applications (including via agencies) later i may as well have stayed abroad as i have got nowhere.

the feeling of having wasted 5 months of my life and the mentally and emotionally draining merry-go-round of applications, interviews and rejections (or just no reply) has left me bereft. i am stressed, strained and depressed. no matter what i do i miss deadlines and never feel like i am doing enough to get a job.
im 23 now and am living with my mother until i get a job.
even basic lab tech positions ask for experience, or i am beaten to the post by experienced applicants that apply anyway.
I didnt realise it would be this hard to get a job without experience when i was doing a degree. Ive seen some positions that train you up from GCSE and A level standard, that the advert specifies they wont consider graduates for.

I dont know how much more of this i can take. i dont mean im gonna do anything silly, but im just in despair and feel lost. What can i do? am i ever gonna get there?
the fact im doing this without any emotional or even practical support and for so long is like the final straw. Im at the point now where ive got so many rejections or no replies that Im just demotivated and feel less able to face that whole job hunting rigmarole, I just feel like giving up.
even if i think ill take a rest for a few days, i feel guilty and always do something. and no doubt ill find out i forgot and/or missed a deadline.

How do you get out of this vicious circle?
I'm so close to giving up entirely.
Maybe i should go to the doctor, but i dont want to take any mood-altering pills. Anyway, sometimes im not so bad, but volunteering and taking a spanish course and a computing course at the local adult education college hasnt really helped much.
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